A Long Time Coming...

All right, it's been a long time and a lot of things have happened in the last while - so as far as observations go I have a fair few to share. ^_^ Though for today I'm only going to talk a bit about one of them.

And that one is: Curiosity

In other words, the main force driving me on to make these observations, to find out what's going on and how people think and work. The urge to just find out something for the one simple, pure reason of 'I was curious'. That one.

Now, as far as this goes I'm an extremely curious person. Ask any of my friends, I'm always trying to figure something out or learning something new or asking why. I crave answers almost all the time and I really can't imagine not doing so. However, looking around me I can see lots of other people that aren't really curious about much at all.

So I'm wondering... are they really not curious or do I just not know what makes them curious? Do they crave knowledge but are afraid of knowing? Or don't want to lose face by asking? Or can people really not be curious at all?

As I've said, I can't imagine what that's like at all... so what I've done is looked around, both here and on that wonderful thing we call the internet, to see if I can find an answer.

One of the things I've found is that children are curious. By nature, its how they learn - if you've ever been anywhere with a little kid you'll know what I mean. They're constantly exploring and asking questions, even as babies they're testing things to find out stuff like how it tastes, what it feels like, what it looks like... they'll do that over and over while they build connections in their brains and start to reason things out.

What I've also noticed is that as children get older they tend to ask less and less questions. One of the sites I found explains possible reasons why very clearly: http://teacher.scholastic.com/professional/bruceperry/curiosity.htm

I'll just summarize briefly for you, but I'd recommend giving it a read. Here are the reasons as they're listed on scholastic:

Fear: If a child is afraid, for whatever reason, then curiosity dies. Or fades at least. (I do know that it can grow again with time, but it takes a bit of work to start with and some people never do re-grow it)

Disapproval: Say a child discovers something while they're out playing, like climbing trees, and they then rush home to tell their parents. What do you think would happen if they'd gotten covered in mud or moss while they were out and their clothes had been stained? Their parents would object usually, and their discovery suddenly wouldn't be as great and shiny. So they're less likely to try something new over a period of time if this keeps happening.

Absence: A friendly adult makes a lot of difference to exploring things; it provides a feeling of security the child wouldn't otherwise have and it also lets them share whatever they discover with someone. If this is absent, then it could also cause the kid to lose interest.

There are lots and lots of websites that have similar theories about this, and lots more that have ways to help children be curious... which is interesting. However, what I really wanted to know was about teenagers and adults, the question has been answered in part but I'm sure there are some more specific reasons for their supposed lack of curiosity in the world around them.

So far, I've not found much more than snippets and snatches of information buried in much larger sites as footnotes, or as quotes by famous people. Most seem to agree that curiosity is a desirable trait, helping with work performance and life satisfaction, making people interesting and lively no matter what age they are. It seems to have a positive impact on how much you enjoy yourself doing various things (again, like work), how quickly and 'well' you can find things out, how much more you can get done.

On the other side of the coin, I've not really found much saying that curiosity is a bad thing - though there are a few sayings around (like: 'Curiosity killed the cat'). In general I think its something that CAN be taken too far in certain situations, but overall its a great trait to foster and make yours. Not just saying that because I have done either, take a look at these:

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.
Ellen Parr

"Every man ought to be inquisitive through every hour of his great adventure down to the day when he shall no longer cast a shadow in the sun. For if he dies without a question in his heart, what excuse is there for his continuance?"
-Frank Moore Colby, The Colby Essays

It is curiosity, quite right-a divine curiosity. A characteristic of the gods is curiosity.
David Attenborough

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
Walt Disney

Curiosity is lying in wait for every secret.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion and the last.
William Samuel Johnson

Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright

I just thought that was interesting... Provoked many a thought of mine. Anyway - I don't suppose there's really a conclusion to this as such... just that curiosity is generally a good thing in the opinion of most people so long as it isn't taken across the line to nosiness. Where that line is, however, varies a lot and tends to be different in every situation no matter how similar the circumstances.

Something Dumb..

(absolutely no comment on the lateness of this because of invasion of things called 'life' and 'studying')

Hey.

I know its been a while - and it'll probably continue to be spaced out a lot for a bit due to exams coming up - but I have something to say today.

I can now stand proudly before you and say that I'm both an idiot and insane. ^_^

Lol, let me explain...

All started last night with this film I was watching (28 Days, it has Sandra Bullock in it and a few other folk) about someone that was going through re-hab. One of the things they got her to do was wear a cardboard sign round her neck; Hers said 'Confront me if I don't ask for help'.

Anyway, being the imaginitive and curious little soul that I am, I wondered idly for a moment what it would be like to have something like that around your neck. A sign stating clearly one of your weaknesses. The thought scared me. A lot.

However, at the same time I had another thought - about myself and just how many things I do fear. If I were to list them, it would literally fill the page. And I had already decided I'd had enough of being afraid of things, dodging my fears, blocking them, running, hiding - whatever. Its only some fears I've faced and gotten rid of so far.

Continuing on - there was a new fear I'd just found, and there was also a rebellion of sorts against that fear. So I decided then and there that I would make myself a sign and wear it today.

So, I got up this morning... Talked it over with my amazing boyfriend then made the sign. (for those wondering, I wrote 'Confront me if I don't speak my mind') Then I sat around in the house for a while before college, thinking it over. I talked to a couple of friends From college and they more or less tried to talk me out of it. But, I left the house with it on under my jacket and just walked up the road.

I got inside the classroom, sat down and took my coat off. And promptly had half the class (the people that noticed) laughing their heads off at it. I just sorta sat for a moment or two blushing beetroot before the humour of the situation caught up with me. We all spent about five minutes laughing before I took it off. Didn't need to leave it on after that - I'd already conquered that fear.

You see, I'd been imagining it a lot worse than it actually turned out to be - what I was completely terrified of never happened. Yes, I did get laughed at - but that was more because of the situation (I did look pretty funny really). So honestly, and I'm not sure if that's going to hold for every occaision or not yet, I don't really fear that nearly as much any more. It was a fairly irrational fear to begin with, and by facing it... I suppose I proved to myself that the world wouldn't end ^^

So while I didn't wear it all day I learnt a lesson, and one that I needed. I can honestly say that I'm glad I did it.

Anywho - just thought I'd share that with you... its something I'm proud of.

A little (big) something that can make a little (big) difference

Today's observation is another fairly long one, so for the most part I'll be using bullet points.

An introduction first though. Through talking to my friends and various other people I've noticed that quite a lot of them don't know what they want, where they want to go, who they are, why they're around at all. So, me being me, I've been asking them why. And the over-riding answers seem to be that;

* They haven't really thought about it.
* They're afraid to fail.
* They 'like' things as they are.
* Change seems like too much work.
* Not knowing themselves.

Now, anyone that knows me will tell you - I'm NOT the best example here. That is to say, never used to be. That's becoming a famous phrase though isn't it? What I mean is that I've been doing a lot of changing lately from where I was... so a lot of this I've been through.

(in an effort to keep this shorter and avoid my usual rambling lol)

The real reasons behind the answers above are something like;

* They've not taken the time to think about it since they're either not sure of what they'll find or a little afraid of what they'll find. Or just genuinely don't care much about anything.
* They've failed before or had a lot of pressure put on them to succeed at everything and they don't want to consider what would happen if it happened again.
* This is generally a way of shrugging it off. From what I've seen, the people that say it aren't generally happy and are trying to convince themselves that they are because something's holding them back from trying.
* No one really likes working so much. Changing yourself or your situation requires a lot of work, and it is pretty daunting. They think they couldn't manage it no matter how hard they tried so they don't start.
* If you don't know yourself then its practically impossible to consider your wants and needs, or who you'd like to be. Because simply - you don't know.

Looking at those, they're seeming a bit similar... Fear seems common, lack of belief in yourself, and not knowing yourself. There could be a lot of reasons for that really, I know mine had to do with a pretty bad experience when I was young that caused me to block off most things. (definitely not recommended) However, that would be in the past.

Ways to get past these reasons;

* spend some time just writing in a journal or talking to a trusted friend about what you want to be, who you are just now, and why you are that way. This one can actually get quite difficult, as its easy to fool yourself; but given time you can change a lot this way.
* Make plans and write down the things you want. This can require a lot of thinking, but its a good place to start sometimes.
* Look for good things about yourself. This is particularly good if you have a low self-image; it will make you feel better a bit at a time and you can use what you discover to move forward.
* Just do one little thing each day. Or think about one little thing, discover one little thing - its worth it and you'll feel a bit better about that day by the time it ends.
* Make someone else smile. Now this one may seem odd, but consider this - if you make someone else smile each day then chances are you're smiling too. And its a gift - one that people love returning.

None of these are quick-fixes. There aren't really any of those that I've found that work long term... This is the sort of thing that requires work to get through. Lots of it. However, something to consider:

Aim for the stars. Then even if you miss you may still hit the moon.

(That was a quote I heard a long time ago - my apologies, but I don't remember the name of the person it was. It just seemed apt.)

Mission

Now this post here, you're either going to love, hate, or pick to pieces. Its one of those that can either make lots of sense or seem almost insane.

Today we're going to talk about a method of 'Doing' that I've come up with to help me.

Before I start, it'll probably be similar to what most people say. What I've done over the last year or so is read everything I could about time management, priorities, goal-setting and clutter. I've muddled along with a lot of techniques, some of which worked - some of which didn't really. During the course of that I've learned a lot about myself, some of which I didn't really want to hear, most of which I'm glad I did. I won't kid you; its not easy. I'm still not completely organised and efficient (what student is?) but I'm lots closer than I was.

So.

Here's my method:

First, I'll sit down and write everything majorly important to me on a piece of paper. The big things - like love, family, financial security, and whatever you want (I'll call these groups from now on). Then, I put that piece of paper aside and write out my 'goals' on the next.

Now, before I go any further I want to talk a bit about goals. Most people have heard at least something about them, and already have an opinion of them. Bear with me on this though, even if it seems painfully obvious it took me months to truly understand what they were all about.

What a goal is, is something you really want to have, achieve, or be. Want to be a writer? That's a goal. Want to earn money today? That's another. Want to get fit? Even this favourite complaint is a goal ladies and gentlemen. Goals aren't always big things. In fact, from what I've seen most of them are pretty small. So small in fact, that they get disregarded when making a list of your goals.

An alternate that lets you avoid this (and that I've found helps with me) is to just write down every little thing you want. Don't bother thinking about how smart they are, or how big, or how important. Just write them all down - if you must you can analyze them later.

Once you've written them down, put the bit of paper aside - don't look at it again for a moment. What you need now is either a folder, or a folder on your computer. I have an actual folder for this, though I do use my computer later on. I just find it easier to remember if its in my ring binder.

Anyway, take your folder and some paper and write down all the groups, one to each bit of paper. Write it near the top and in big letters. Then, underneath, carefully write down what that group means to you. How would you define it? What would it take to make you sit and think that, yes - this is going well? Write down all of those things as neatly as possible and put them into your binder.

Now, take your list of goals again and look at them. Use a pen or pencil to make a little mark next to the more important ones. These are now your 'Missions'. Then see decide whether to group some of them if they're the same or whether to just leave them as they are. Then what you do is repeat what you did with the groups, except don't put them in your folder yet.

Look at your groups again, and sort each of your missions into one of them. Then just file them away for now, under the proper group.

Now look at the rest of your goals - do you have groups of them that seem similar? Do some of them relate to your missions? Write the similar ones out on the same bit of paper (with descriptions if necessary) and put them wherever you think they should go in your folder. Choose a group for them and see if they fit with any of your missions - if not, don't worry; its not a huge hardship.

With the ones you have left over, give them their own bit of paper and file them as well.

By now you may be wondering what the point to all this is. Its a way of setting out your priorities and thinking through them in a clear way. If you have every single thing you want written down in detail, you're probably a lot more likely to get it. You're certainly not going to be stuck whenever anyone asks what you want to do with your life any more.

The key to this system, is that you have to look over your folder every couple of days at the most. This helps to keep it in your mind, and since you wrote it in detail - it'll maybe give you that fire you need to get it done. Plus it has the added bonus of making it far easier to jot down to-do lists if you're so inclined (and then keep to them!).

Certainly, since I started this I've found I'm making much more sense to myself, and to those around me. It seems to be working far better than any of the techniques I've tried before, but I think that's more a matter of I created this one. As a last bit of advice, don't take any system completely. If you like a part of something, use that part; over time you'll have made up your own unique way of doing things. One that makes sense to you at your own level, and one that you'll see through to the end.

Thought and Action

I don't know about anyone else - but with me these aren't really the same thing.

I'll often think about doing something, and plan it to death, then never get round to actually doing it. I won't have Time, or I'll have something else to complete, or I'll lose enthusiasm and the drive to get it done.

And I know other people that never plan, or think things through beforehand. They just rush around, doing whatever they think about at the time (like writing a new book, or going to the gym, or taking up cycling). That generally results in lots of unfinished projects lying about everywhere.

Or you get those (like me sometimes) That plan a thing to death, start it, then lose interest after a while and abandon it. Or, on the flip side, you get those that just start things, realise their lack of planning, spend time planning it to death then never continue.

Obviously, none of those work very well at all.

I think you need some sort of balance between the two if you ever want to get anything done. However just exactly what that balance is - I don't know yet.

What I've been doing is planning the way I do now, but setting myself deadlines at the same time so that I have something to work towards. That's working better for me, however its not completely 100% effective yet. ^^

Maybe the best route is to see what it is you spend most of your time on (planning or acting) then work on getting the other one as well. That way you still have your strengths, and you're gaining another as well.

Presents, Toys, and fun things

Does anyone remember what their favourite toy used to be when they were younger?

Mine was this old brown stuffed bear... It used to get carried about everywhere, and I'm pretty sure it had about five names (none of which I can remember just now). Just that one toy used to provide hours of entertainment.

Then came the dolls. Which cost a bit more, I'm sure, and used to keep me far less entertained on their own so I used to have lots of them. And little toy horses, and zoo animals, and so on.

Then came the age of the computer game - where that was all I wanted, various computer games to just sit and play... Like Neverwinter Nights, or Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Thinking about it just now, all I really want for Christmas is a passport and flights to Canada and Back.

Amazing how the price range has changed as I've gotten older. Slowly at first, then huge leaps later on (and by later on, I mean now). Looking in the shops, I can see the same theme. As we get older we want more and more expensive things.

Maybe its because we get harder to entertain, or find it more difficult to entertain ourselves. Perhaps that has something to do with the increased expectations we have to live up to as we age. 'Don't act like a five-year-old.' Being an example.

The knock-on effect of this is that, as we want more, we need more money. Children ask for raised pocket money, teenagers start looking for jobs, adults work harder and harder so they can have what they want. And so we have people working just to be paid... which I actually understand now. However I think its important to enjoy what you're doing as well, so at least you aren't miserable earning money.

And I'm not entirely sure what the point of this post is, however it was late when i started it. So thats my excuse if it makes no sense. ^^

More Ultra-laziness from me

All right, I found this the other day and since it had me laughing my head off I thought I'd share it with you. Brings a whole new meaning to punctuation marks. ^^

http://www.office-humour.co.uk/external/http://www.zefrank.com/punc/

This was originally posted on Office Humour, and the rest of their jokes and videos are fun as well - keeps you entertained for a few days at least. *grins*