A little (big) something that can make a little (big) difference

Today's observation is another fairly long one, so for the most part I'll be using bullet points.

An introduction first though. Through talking to my friends and various other people I've noticed that quite a lot of them don't know what they want, where they want to go, who they are, why they're around at all. So, me being me, I've been asking them why. And the over-riding answers seem to be that;

* They haven't really thought about it.
* They're afraid to fail.
* They 'like' things as they are.
* Change seems like too much work.
* Not knowing themselves.

Now, anyone that knows me will tell you - I'm NOT the best example here. That is to say, never used to be. That's becoming a famous phrase though isn't it? What I mean is that I've been doing a lot of changing lately from where I was... so a lot of this I've been through.

(in an effort to keep this shorter and avoid my usual rambling lol)

The real reasons behind the answers above are something like;

* They've not taken the time to think about it since they're either not sure of what they'll find or a little afraid of what they'll find. Or just genuinely don't care much about anything.
* They've failed before or had a lot of pressure put on them to succeed at everything and they don't want to consider what would happen if it happened again.
* This is generally a way of shrugging it off. From what I've seen, the people that say it aren't generally happy and are trying to convince themselves that they are because something's holding them back from trying.
* No one really likes working so much. Changing yourself or your situation requires a lot of work, and it is pretty daunting. They think they couldn't manage it no matter how hard they tried so they don't start.
* If you don't know yourself then its practically impossible to consider your wants and needs, or who you'd like to be. Because simply - you don't know.

Looking at those, they're seeming a bit similar... Fear seems common, lack of belief in yourself, and not knowing yourself. There could be a lot of reasons for that really, I know mine had to do with a pretty bad experience when I was young that caused me to block off most things. (definitely not recommended) However, that would be in the past.

Ways to get past these reasons;

* spend some time just writing in a journal or talking to a trusted friend about what you want to be, who you are just now, and why you are that way. This one can actually get quite difficult, as its easy to fool yourself; but given time you can change a lot this way.
* Make plans and write down the things you want. This can require a lot of thinking, but its a good place to start sometimes.
* Look for good things about yourself. This is particularly good if you have a low self-image; it will make you feel better a bit at a time and you can use what you discover to move forward.
* Just do one little thing each day. Or think about one little thing, discover one little thing - its worth it and you'll feel a bit better about that day by the time it ends.
* Make someone else smile. Now this one may seem odd, but consider this - if you make someone else smile each day then chances are you're smiling too. And its a gift - one that people love returning.

None of these are quick-fixes. There aren't really any of those that I've found that work long term... This is the sort of thing that requires work to get through. Lots of it. However, something to consider:

Aim for the stars. Then even if you miss you may still hit the moon.

(That was a quote I heard a long time ago - my apologies, but I don't remember the name of the person it was. It just seemed apt.)

Mission

Now this post here, you're either going to love, hate, or pick to pieces. Its one of those that can either make lots of sense or seem almost insane.

Today we're going to talk about a method of 'Doing' that I've come up with to help me.

Before I start, it'll probably be similar to what most people say. What I've done over the last year or so is read everything I could about time management, priorities, goal-setting and clutter. I've muddled along with a lot of techniques, some of which worked - some of which didn't really. During the course of that I've learned a lot about myself, some of which I didn't really want to hear, most of which I'm glad I did. I won't kid you; its not easy. I'm still not completely organised and efficient (what student is?) but I'm lots closer than I was.

So.

Here's my method:

First, I'll sit down and write everything majorly important to me on a piece of paper. The big things - like love, family, financial security, and whatever you want (I'll call these groups from now on). Then, I put that piece of paper aside and write out my 'goals' on the next.

Now, before I go any further I want to talk a bit about goals. Most people have heard at least something about them, and already have an opinion of them. Bear with me on this though, even if it seems painfully obvious it took me months to truly understand what they were all about.

What a goal is, is something you really want to have, achieve, or be. Want to be a writer? That's a goal. Want to earn money today? That's another. Want to get fit? Even this favourite complaint is a goal ladies and gentlemen. Goals aren't always big things. In fact, from what I've seen most of them are pretty small. So small in fact, that they get disregarded when making a list of your goals.

An alternate that lets you avoid this (and that I've found helps with me) is to just write down every little thing you want. Don't bother thinking about how smart they are, or how big, or how important. Just write them all down - if you must you can analyze them later.

Once you've written them down, put the bit of paper aside - don't look at it again for a moment. What you need now is either a folder, or a folder on your computer. I have an actual folder for this, though I do use my computer later on. I just find it easier to remember if its in my ring binder.

Anyway, take your folder and some paper and write down all the groups, one to each bit of paper. Write it near the top and in big letters. Then, underneath, carefully write down what that group means to you. How would you define it? What would it take to make you sit and think that, yes - this is going well? Write down all of those things as neatly as possible and put them into your binder.

Now, take your list of goals again and look at them. Use a pen or pencil to make a little mark next to the more important ones. These are now your 'Missions'. Then see decide whether to group some of them if they're the same or whether to just leave them as they are. Then what you do is repeat what you did with the groups, except don't put them in your folder yet.

Look at your groups again, and sort each of your missions into one of them. Then just file them away for now, under the proper group.

Now look at the rest of your goals - do you have groups of them that seem similar? Do some of them relate to your missions? Write the similar ones out on the same bit of paper (with descriptions if necessary) and put them wherever you think they should go in your folder. Choose a group for them and see if they fit with any of your missions - if not, don't worry; its not a huge hardship.

With the ones you have left over, give them their own bit of paper and file them as well.

By now you may be wondering what the point to all this is. Its a way of setting out your priorities and thinking through them in a clear way. If you have every single thing you want written down in detail, you're probably a lot more likely to get it. You're certainly not going to be stuck whenever anyone asks what you want to do with your life any more.

The key to this system, is that you have to look over your folder every couple of days at the most. This helps to keep it in your mind, and since you wrote it in detail - it'll maybe give you that fire you need to get it done. Plus it has the added bonus of making it far easier to jot down to-do lists if you're so inclined (and then keep to them!).

Certainly, since I started this I've found I'm making much more sense to myself, and to those around me. It seems to be working far better than any of the techniques I've tried before, but I think that's more a matter of I created this one. As a last bit of advice, don't take any system completely. If you like a part of something, use that part; over time you'll have made up your own unique way of doing things. One that makes sense to you at your own level, and one that you'll see through to the end.

Thought and Action

I don't know about anyone else - but with me these aren't really the same thing.

I'll often think about doing something, and plan it to death, then never get round to actually doing it. I won't have Time, or I'll have something else to complete, or I'll lose enthusiasm and the drive to get it done.

And I know other people that never plan, or think things through beforehand. They just rush around, doing whatever they think about at the time (like writing a new book, or going to the gym, or taking up cycling). That generally results in lots of unfinished projects lying about everywhere.

Or you get those (like me sometimes) That plan a thing to death, start it, then lose interest after a while and abandon it. Or, on the flip side, you get those that just start things, realise their lack of planning, spend time planning it to death then never continue.

Obviously, none of those work very well at all.

I think you need some sort of balance between the two if you ever want to get anything done. However just exactly what that balance is - I don't know yet.

What I've been doing is planning the way I do now, but setting myself deadlines at the same time so that I have something to work towards. That's working better for me, however its not completely 100% effective yet. ^^

Maybe the best route is to see what it is you spend most of your time on (planning or acting) then work on getting the other one as well. That way you still have your strengths, and you're gaining another as well.

Presents, Toys, and fun things

Does anyone remember what their favourite toy used to be when they were younger?

Mine was this old brown stuffed bear... It used to get carried about everywhere, and I'm pretty sure it had about five names (none of which I can remember just now). Just that one toy used to provide hours of entertainment.

Then came the dolls. Which cost a bit more, I'm sure, and used to keep me far less entertained on their own so I used to have lots of them. And little toy horses, and zoo animals, and so on.

Then came the age of the computer game - where that was all I wanted, various computer games to just sit and play... Like Neverwinter Nights, or Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?

Thinking about it just now, all I really want for Christmas is a passport and flights to Canada and Back.

Amazing how the price range has changed as I've gotten older. Slowly at first, then huge leaps later on (and by later on, I mean now). Looking in the shops, I can see the same theme. As we get older we want more and more expensive things.

Maybe its because we get harder to entertain, or find it more difficult to entertain ourselves. Perhaps that has something to do with the increased expectations we have to live up to as we age. 'Don't act like a five-year-old.' Being an example.

The knock-on effect of this is that, as we want more, we need more money. Children ask for raised pocket money, teenagers start looking for jobs, adults work harder and harder so they can have what they want. And so we have people working just to be paid... which I actually understand now. However I think its important to enjoy what you're doing as well, so at least you aren't miserable earning money.

And I'm not entirely sure what the point of this post is, however it was late when i started it. So thats my excuse if it makes no sense. ^^

More Ultra-laziness from me

All right, I found this the other day and since it had me laughing my head off I thought I'd share it with you. Brings a whole new meaning to punctuation marks. ^^

http://www.office-humour.co.uk/external/http://www.zefrank.com/punc/

This was originally posted on Office Humour, and the rest of their jokes and videos are fun as well - keeps you entertained for a few days at least. *grins*

A little different

This isn't really an observation or anything like that, since its late and I almost forgot. So basically, I thought I'd give you the introduction to a story I'm writing just now (as a piece of shameless self-promotion).

I think you'll enjoy it - and its quite short, so it won't take long to read. ^^ let me know what you think...

---

I stirred, groggily pulling myself back to consciousness only to wince at the glare or the white light blinding my tired eyes. I shifted slightly, going to block the light with my arm, only to discover I was strapped down. Frowning, I squinted into the light, trying to make out anything at all. There was nothing.

‘I see you finally made it. Do you remember who you are?’

Instinctively turning towards the deep, very male voice to my left I stayed silent while I peered into the annoying brightness. Still nothing. I ground my teeth briefly then started to answer.

‘Who I am? Of course I do, I’m…I’m…’ I frowned, knowing I’d known exactly who I was but a moment ago. It was this cursed light, if only it wasn’t so bright… Painfully bright.

‘My name is… Celerdon, the darkness. Shadow the black. Kalerdan the warrior. Who now calls?’ I blinked, shocked at myself. Whatever else I knew, those were not my names. I’d never even heard of them before, which really begged the question.

‘What the hell is going on!!?’ I tried to yell only to find I couldn’t even open my mouth.

‘Silence mortal, I’ll get you out of this – but you must leave it to me.’ A voice that echoed round my head, a gong in the mountains, and suddenly I felt sleepy…so tired…

I fell into darkness.

Enjoy ^_^

Memory

I wonder why it is that people tend to remember the bad things that have happened to them with far more clarity than the good things.

Is it to do with the fact that bad things are more traumatising? Do good things have less impact on us?

I'm not sure myself to be honest - I think good memories are more powerful at times than bad memories, and certainly they're much more fun to remember. Often, though, we don't dwell on them (though they can cheer us up better than lots of other things). Bad memories tend to swirl in our minds until we can't bear it or until we busy ourselves with something else - why is that?

Perhaps because the bad things we remember most often weren't resolved particularly well at the time and you're left feeling that there was something you could have done better, or want to undo, or want to do now to fix it. Sometimes you even end up thinking along those lines even when there's nothing you can do short of going back in time and changing the whole thing.

Fortunately - the small bad things like being late for a meeting, or college or whatever tend to be forgotten fairly quickly.

Guess for the rest we either have to resolve them in our own minds (recommended), block them (Never try this - makes it worse), or join the ever increasing number of people trying desperately to make time machines...

Or as another alternative - focus on remembering the good things. When was the last time you though about them? I think you should just now... you might surprise yourself with how good your memory actually is. :)

Planning

Wonder how many people cringe when they hear that most evil of words - planning.

I'm willing to bet a lot of us hate it at some point or another, or rather - we hate what we think of it as. I mean, who really wants to sit and schedule everything they need to do for a particular day? Who really wants to make lists for chores, tasks, projects and so on? Who can honestly say they like time dictating what they should do and when?

Not many. However that's not really what planning is.

Not entirely anyway.

Yes, you schedule things. But you don't schedule every moment of every day - because unless you don't live at all that'll never work. What I've found is that if you make a huge list of things you need to do then choose some for each day (no more than 8-10), making sure to complete at least the three most important ones by the end of the day then things seem to go quicker. How much you plan each item out depends on you though - I'm notoriously bad at starting things so I make sure to split it into chunks which are much easier to complete.

Lists - well, I only use these to decide where it is I'm going and what I need to do to get there. Also for jotting down stuff I notice needing done until I have the time. It doesn't really impact on your life too much unless you have a lot of things to get done, in which case I think they're pretty essential (if only so you don't forget things).

As for dictating what to do and when... Well, I never really use that method if I can avoid it. If there's something that absolutely HAS to be done at a certain time then I'll make sure that I do it then, however for everything else I just write a list of what needs to be done and make sure to fit it in. Maybe not the most effective way of doing it but it does work for me.

There's lots of reasons why planning is good for you, one of them being that it actually frees up more time for the things you enjoy and actually Want to do. By planning you can get things like chores done quicker with less energy wasted by running around deciding what to do. Its especially important if you have a lot of commitments, since it means (with practice) that you'll get things done then have a little room to move and do whatever. Meaning you get less stressed out and have more fun in life.

Just my thoughts for today =)

Presentation

Well today I had my first job interview ever. ^^

It was great fun actually, the job itself was for a position as Sales Assistant at a shop in my local town centre and it went really well. However something interesting occurred to me while I was getting ready.

I was trying on my planned interview outfit this morning and not very pleased with it at all. And with good reason. I was wearing my smartest jeans (which were, admittedly, not all THAT smart) and a black polo-neck which looked ok, but not for a job interview. Nothing in the rest of my wardrobe would have done either; even my plain black trousers were too small. So i did what any sane person would do and went shopping.

After some time trawling through various shops looking for a plain blouse (that didn't have a V-neck so low you could almost see my belly button) I finally found one suitable and went home. Later on I went to the interview and did pretty well I think. Which was fine; not the point of the story though.


The point is that now I'm thinking about what would have happened if I'd gone with my original outfit. Would I have failed miserably just based on that? Would I still have been ok? Would my job have been harder?

What I think is that I would have been more nervous, not seen to be as good a prospect as before, and it would have lessened my chances dramatically. Does that mean that I made my skills any more by dressing that way? Of course not, however I looked the part.

Which makes sense I suppose - I mean, what would you rather play? A game with not so good graphics but a great storyline or a game with magnificent graphics and an average or similar storyline? What about films? Books?

People tend to go for the ones that are better presented. Something to do with the initial judgement of a person as I recall. Which is why you should always make at least some effort at presentation - whatever it is you're presenting. Book reports? Neater the better. Yourself? Same.

If something can be made neater with not a lot of effort then do it. (Not if its gone to take hours to just improve something very slightly though, then its not worth it)

Applies to all parts of your life really... Better something looks the better you'll do.

Something interesting...

This isn't exactly an observation but I though it was pretty... entertaining.

About a week ago one of my friends at college told me about something that had happened in our town park concerning fireworks. But before I go into the actual story - a bit of background information.

Our town has lots of little red bins on the streets, purely for dog-owners to deposit their carrier bags full of shit. They all have lids, and little white signs on them that show (in pictures as well as words) what they were used for.

However, come Fireworks night, these groups of teenagers were setting off fireworks in the street - which is technically illegal but no one seems to stop them. Anyway, one of them thought it would be a great idea to light one then put it in the dog bin. Which is all very well I suppose...

Except that the group didnt get out of the way in time for the bin to explode and splatter its contents over everything in range.

Almost wish I could have heard they're explanations to the police... :-)

A bit late...

All right - I'll admit that this entry is a couple of days late, but I was really busy with blah blah blah.

Sound familiar?

I would have had my homework in on time BUT it got lost on the way here.
I would have attended the meeting BUT something came up.


Excuses. We all make them, I suppose. What I'm wondering is why. Why is it that, if we're in the wrong, its easier to make up a reason than to just accept responsibility?

I think its in part to do with the way doing anything 'wrong' is handled in society today. Isn't to be wrong the ultimate failure? Is it not more important to be right than kind, or nice, or happy? Does the world not end when we are wrong and people find out?

Well actually no, it doesn't generally. Now, chances are you'll already know this, but also chances are you'll still be guilty or qualifying mistakes with reasons or conditions. I do it too. When you're wrong its easier to lay the blame elsewhere; and the responsibility.

However think about this - If you're willing to pass off responsibility when you get something wrong, however major or minor, then would you be just as willing to pass off responsibility when something goes right?

I wouldn't be. So I try not to do either, and if I do get something wrong I'll make sure to own up to it quickly (if not as soon as I find out it'll be at the next opportunity). Which means if I do something its entirely my choice to do it - no matter the outside factors.

Which means I generally get a lot of grief for things I've done wrong... But you know what? Its less than the grief I got before when I passed on the blame. And when you get something right it means that much more.

So, this blog is a couple of days late. My apologies to everyone and it won't happen again.

Introduction

Greetings.

My name's Heather, I'm from Scotland (but looking to move to Canada in about 2 years) and I'm currently on my lunch-break at college. Computing course for those wondering.

I was just sitting, staring at my computer screen and trying to motivate myself enough to do homework, when I remembered something a few friends have said to me. 'You should start a blog for all that stuff.'

So here I am - starting a blog. This one's just going to be a little place to write down my various observations I have throughout the day. Some might be clever, I don't know, and some might be complete nonsense. I'll leave that to you to decide. Though what I will do is write in here every day if I can, with at least something interesting; whether it be about people, society, the latest news article, scientific developments - just whatever takes my fancy that day.

Happy reading,

Heather

(always wanted to say that)