A little (big) something that can make a little (big) difference

Today's observation is another fairly long one, so for the most part I'll be using bullet points.

An introduction first though. Through talking to my friends and various other people I've noticed that quite a lot of them don't know what they want, where they want to go, who they are, why they're around at all. So, me being me, I've been asking them why. And the over-riding answers seem to be that;

* They haven't really thought about it.
* They're afraid to fail.
* They 'like' things as they are.
* Change seems like too much work.
* Not knowing themselves.

Now, anyone that knows me will tell you - I'm NOT the best example here. That is to say, never used to be. That's becoming a famous phrase though isn't it? What I mean is that I've been doing a lot of changing lately from where I was... so a lot of this I've been through.

(in an effort to keep this shorter and avoid my usual rambling lol)

The real reasons behind the answers above are something like;

* They've not taken the time to think about it since they're either not sure of what they'll find or a little afraid of what they'll find. Or just genuinely don't care much about anything.
* They've failed before or had a lot of pressure put on them to succeed at everything and they don't want to consider what would happen if it happened again.
* This is generally a way of shrugging it off. From what I've seen, the people that say it aren't generally happy and are trying to convince themselves that they are because something's holding them back from trying.
* No one really likes working so much. Changing yourself or your situation requires a lot of work, and it is pretty daunting. They think they couldn't manage it no matter how hard they tried so they don't start.
* If you don't know yourself then its practically impossible to consider your wants and needs, or who you'd like to be. Because simply - you don't know.

Looking at those, they're seeming a bit similar... Fear seems common, lack of belief in yourself, and not knowing yourself. There could be a lot of reasons for that really, I know mine had to do with a pretty bad experience when I was young that caused me to block off most things. (definitely not recommended) However, that would be in the past.

Ways to get past these reasons;

* spend some time just writing in a journal or talking to a trusted friend about what you want to be, who you are just now, and why you are that way. This one can actually get quite difficult, as its easy to fool yourself; but given time you can change a lot this way.
* Make plans and write down the things you want. This can require a lot of thinking, but its a good place to start sometimes.
* Look for good things about yourself. This is particularly good if you have a low self-image; it will make you feel better a bit at a time and you can use what you discover to move forward.
* Just do one little thing each day. Or think about one little thing, discover one little thing - its worth it and you'll feel a bit better about that day by the time it ends.
* Make someone else smile. Now this one may seem odd, but consider this - if you make someone else smile each day then chances are you're smiling too. And its a gift - one that people love returning.

None of these are quick-fixes. There aren't really any of those that I've found that work long term... This is the sort of thing that requires work to get through. Lots of it. However, something to consider:

Aim for the stars. Then even if you miss you may still hit the moon.

(That was a quote I heard a long time ago - my apologies, but I don't remember the name of the person it was. It just seemed apt.)